Food As Memory — Matzoh Ball Soup

This year, I was too sick for Passover. This really bummed me out, as I was anticipating a delicious meal in the company of some of my favorite people. But, alas, I thought it better to stay home sick rather than show up with a box of tissues in place of a flourless chocolate cake.

One of the dishes I always look forward to most on Passover is Matzoh Ball Soup. Given that, it's odd that I have never tried to make my own, which I actually just realized now. In any case, the reason I have such a love affair with Matzoh Ball Soup is due to my Nanny. You see, she made the best Matzoh Ball Soup around. I'm sure many people have said that before, that their grandmothers made the best fill-in-the-blank-here, and all of them believe it to be true.

Nanny hasn't been with us since 2001, so it has been quite some time since I have had her famous soup. Sadly, I don't even have the recipe. But what I do have is the memory -- of her taking over the kitchen for days on end; of everyone gathered around the table; of those enormous, light and airy balls; of the sound of my family slurping up its goodness, tipping the bowl back so as not to miss a drop of it, of the fact that her soup actually tasted like love liquified.

So in an effort not to miss out on Passover altogether, and the fact that I was quickly growing bored of Chicken Noodle Soup, I decided to hunt some down. Lucky for me, I found some at Whole Foods.

This afternoon, I poured it into a bowl, warmed it up and prepared to have my own little Passover. Truth be told, it was a bit of a dissapointment. The broth was alright, but the matzoh ball itself was just mush. The consistency and texture were all wrong. As I mentioned, I have never made my own so I couldn't pinpoint exactly what wasn't right. All I knew was it that was a fry cry from my Nanny's.

Nonetheless, it still made me feel good, surprisingly good, actually. It was edible, and satisfied my craving, and just the act of eating it, despite its lack of flavor and texture, made me feel close to Nanny. I knew it wouldn't be as good as her recipe. I was prepared for the dissapointment. What I wasn't prepared for was the love that still managed to wash over me, so many years later and so many bowls after my Nanny's Matzoh Ball Soup.

Recipes Gone AWOL

As you can see from my prior post, there was no recipe included. This will probably happen quite often, and I've decided to accept that. You see, stressing over pinning down a recipe simply to include in this blog might drive me nutty. As much as I cook -- very often, dishes of my own creation -- there is rarely, if ever, a recipe involved. This proves to be a problem when someone falls in love with something and immediately requests the recipe.

I cook using the touchy feeling method, as my dear Mamala would say, meaning, I add a little of this, a bit of that, have a taste and decide where to go from there. Some of my best dishes have been created after a few minutes standing in front of the fridge and just pulling out things I think will taste yummy together, with nary a measuring spoon in sight. This is why I tend to prefer cooking over baking. While I have the biggest sweet tooth East of the Mississippi, I find a lot more creative freedom in savory dishes. I love to come up with a dish in my head and then try to get that perfectly imagined taste on my tongue.

So, if you're looking for recipes, look elsewhere. That said, if you read the blog all the way through, you'll absolutely be able to recreate any dish I've made. In fact, I suggest creating your own recipe as you read, taking notes of what you need and what to do with it, and maybe adding a touch or two of your own along the way. That way, you'll have a nice little cheat sheet, and, as an added bonus, your computer will stay clean. So while there may not be clear-cut recipes for most of my original dishes, when I write about desserts or meals I've made that do have recipes, I'll happily include them!